“This was such a special time and to be able to photograph my own son’s newborn session was a dream. I had a specific vision in mind that I wanted to portray and have to look back on. Although newborn sessions are always a challenge because you have to be at the hand of your baby and you never know how they may react. I wanted to create and show that special moment that every mother feels when she is looking at her new baby. Starting photography I never thought I would want to shoot lifestyle and mothers. I played around with it a little bit and experimented. I immediately fell in love with it, to capture that split second that cant ever be relived again on film is what makes me fall in love with it even more.
I got to do that with my own son and to be able to continually look back at these images and relive the same feelings I have towards him is just astounding. I set a goal for myself to not only capture images for my clients but to capture these special times for myself also. These images are never able to be relived, never can I go back to this moment I captured in time. These images are what I will hold dear to my heart and these images are what I can show and share with my son and his future family. It’s a crazy experience for me to even think of what motherhood is to me, to look back at where I was less than a year ago to where I am now, to even where I was five years ago.
Being a mom has changed so much of my views in life. I always would say I never wanted children and never had a desire to have any even when we got married. I remember telling my husband this all the time and it wasnt until we got pregnant with our first baby that is was such a shock to me. I remember crying because I didn’t want it to happen. Then when we miscarried our first, my heart just sank. I didn’t think I could have that motherly instinct with my baby I hadn’t even met. It was a very hard time for us.
A year later we got pregnant again with my son Kade and it was such a surprise to me again that I immediately cried and was afraid, but had a joy that was more overcome by fear. I remember breaking the news to my husband in tears and felt so bad that I had to tell him that he was going to be a dad this way, something he always wanted to be but knew I never wanted. I think for a lot of women we fear so much of the unknown and so many times our fears rules our lives and we live by those emotions.
That’s what I did for those 9 months with Kade. When Kade was finally born, I immediately wanted to cry from excitement. I remember wondering why was I so fearful? He is perfect. After that moment and when I decided I wasn’t going to live my life in fear, I wanted to give him everything. I wanted to give him all my patience and love and attention and to cherish every moment with him so that when I look back on his life I don’t regret the time lost. Being a new mom, I have so much to learn and grow in, but I am so glad I get to do it with Kade in my life. Had I let my fears consume me even more, I would miss out on this joy of being a mom to the sweetest boy. I wouldn’t change what God placed in my life for anything.” Samantha, Mother in the images and Photographer