“Quite frankly, I never could see myself as a mother. I have held several titles in my lifetime, daughter, sister, girlfriend, finance, wife, boutique owner and boss, but never in my life did I think about having the title mother. Shawn and I got engaged in December of 2016, planned for an April 2018 wedding, and in March of 2017, we found out we were expecting, I thought I had the flu. I immediately felt so many different emotions and I was most afraid that I would never be a good enough mom, I had never even held a baby before. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, financially, emotionally, and physically.
This was not in my plans, it wasn’t in our plans-we were planning a wedding, remodeling a home, working on building a home, and I was living in Virginia running my business and Shawn was in South Carolina running his. I knew Shawn wanted children, but there was a huge possibility he could never have kids, and I was totally okay with it being just he and I for the rest of our lives.
It took me 16 weeks to accept I was having a baby boy and he was coming, coming soon. At 16 weeks, it was literally like I had a come to Jesus moment when I looked at my tiny bump in the mirror and could see him moving. It was then I thanked God for this amazing baby we were creating.
During the first 16 weeks, I wish there would have been more “real” blogs for me to read about becoming a mother. Most were all butterflies and rainbows and that was the LAST thing I wanted to read. I don’t think I am the only one that has felt this way when finding out they were pregnant and I felt so alone, which made me even sicker than I already was. Everyone around me was so happy and I was just…numb.
Bo arrived on October 21st, 10 days early, and his first breath simply took mine away. I am so blessed to be able to say, I had a wonderful pregnancy, I loved my doctor, and labor was the most incredible moment I have ever experienced in my life. When the doctor laid this beautiful, perfect little baby boy on my chest, I immediately regretted the thought that I never wanted to be in THIS moment, that I never wanted to be a mom.
Before, I would have been one of those people to think “why do they want a child so badly.” Now without hesitation I can only say keep praying and do not lose faith. God knew my heart needed Bo. He knew I needed Bo. A baby is worth every fear, every cry out, every doubt, every time you throw up, every kick, every sleepless night, every 3 AM feeding, every melt down in Target, every meal you might have to pack up and take home…every smile, every laugh, every stinky diaper, every chuckle, every song you will have to learn, and most certainly all the love you have to give.
There are many things in my life I am proud of, but my sweet baby is what I am most proud of. There is no greater title, no greater love, and no greater joy in this whole world than being a mom.” Whitney, Mother
“Funny you should ask this question about why these images are so important. My family often makes fun of me for taking so many pictures, but pictures tell a story, and these pictures tell our story. No matter how important something is to you, details fade from our memory over time. When you have pictures to look back on, it’s like you are reliving that moment, that time in your life all over again. I cherish every picture of my family and especially of my precious Bo.
The experience while taking these photos was almost indescribable. At almost 9 months pregnant, I had never felt prettier and I feel like Shawn looked at me in a way that I wish I could have frozen forever, the sun was setting on the mountain tops, cows and turkeys were roaming, the weather was absolutely perfect, and my belly was finally out for the world to see. I was very sick in the beginning of my pregnancy, so I didn’t start getting a bump until around 7 months pregnant, which is why we had to wait until closer to the end to take these photos. During the session, no one would know that 24 hours later, our beautiful little baby boy, Bo, would make his grand entrance into this world.” Whitney, Mother